Transfiguration

In church wondering why I am here. Wishing I'd listen to the voice saying, your kids are a mess, they are tired, let them sleep. stay home.  Walking around wondering, "What I am I doing? Am I doing the right thing? Can she walk all around? Should I bring her outside. Are people ok if she cries?"

As I was walking out a fellow parishioner stopped me and said, "Do you want help? Normally, I would say, "No, I am fine."  I am supposed to be able to take care of my kids right?  But instead i said, "Yes."  Yes. A simple word. "Ask for help." "Accept help!" Isn't that what everyone says to new mothers?  

Accepting help offered relief.

I had a few moments to connect with my older daughter, to calm her down and smooth the sourpuss off her face.  A moment to prepare myself for communion after being flustered most of the service.



I wrote the above paragraphs four years ago, and true to where I was four years ago, never got back to finishing it.   I remember exactly how it felt, and although I still have many struggles with my children in services, I am so happy to see that my internal dialogue has grown a bit.  Just a bit, but I am glad I didn't listen to that voice that wanted to keep my from services. 

DIY Screen Repair

(I wrote this post in 2015 and recently found it in unpublished drafts.  It is well timed as I have two screens I need to fix, and happy to have the reminder!)


I've been a fix-it girl since childhood.  I lived with my single mother and younger brother and I was the one who hooked up the VCR and video games.  As a teenager, my track coach took me under her wing and employed me, giving me odd jobs around her home.  Patching and painting the bathroom ceiling, replacing and painting shingles and raking and yard maintenance. I learned all sorts of things and all about materials;  kilz, spackle, patch repair tape and paint.   She told me that a woman needed to know how to take her of herself and her home.  It didn't hurt that my favorite TV show was MacGyver.  He was amazing and I wanted to be just like him, fixing everything with anything.

Fast forward to today and I've taken on my fair share of projects. I started with basic furniture painting, then stripping, refinishing, light tool use. I've moved into power tools now and owning a home means the options are really limitless.  I've painted shutters, doors, refinished cabinets, and built headboards, just to name a few.

Today, I finally became fed up with a screen in our front window that had holes and was a different color than the rest. I've never worked with screens before and had no idea how easy it was to fix.  I would have done it two years ago. 

A quick search revealed I needed 3 things since I already had an intact frame.

1. spline
2. spline tool (for $3.50 it is so worth it. a pizza cutter might work, but you're more likely to cut the screening and you'd have to start over)
3. screening

All of the materials (which could replace at least 4 windows) are less than $20 and the work took no more than 20 minutes. Other tools you will need:

1. scissors
2. sharp knife
3. Measuring tape

Steps:

Take the screen off the window. Rip out the old spline (the rubber tubing fits into a groove on the screen frame and holds the screening taut). Remove the old screening.  Take the new screening, measure the screen width and length and add a extra 1.5 inches on all 4 sides.  Cut screening.

Lay your new screen over the screen frame with extra screening hanging evenly over all sides. 

Take the spline and lay it over the screening above the grove in the frame.
Use the spline tool to push the spline into the groove.
Trim any unsightly overhanging screen.

Viola!

My Why

As I’ve shared, I’ve been really concerned about unknown toxins in our food and cosmetics for the last 9 or so years.  It has definitely been a journey for me, learning all the while and trying to make the best and safest choices that I can with my resources, time and energy.  We do our best with what we have. 

I’ve learned this personally and also in my professional work as a therapist.  Most people are doing the best they can with their skills and circumstances.    I see my role as a therapist to help people whose ways of coping and living aren’t allowing them to be their best or live a full and healthy life.  As I’ve spent the last 6 years of my life focused on my family and keeping my head above water in the roles, transitions and changes life has brought my way, I haven’t felt in a position to be responsible in a professional way for anyone except my family.    I have the desire inside to be present with clients in this way again, and I know that when I am ready, I will be very happy to do it. 

Beautycounter came to me in an unexpected and organic way, and I am so glad that it did. I admire the company and it’s mission. I love the transparency and what I see behind the scenes. I love the products—how they feel, how they smell, how they work and what is in them.   I’ve shared my thoughts on health and food with friend and family for years, but never in an “official” capacity. I love having access to Beautycounter’s knowledge and understanding of the cosmetic industry. I love that the company is committed to and leading change in our country to protect everyone—whether they are using Beautycounter products or not. 

As I’ve gotten older and lived through a fair amount of change, hard experiences, responsibilities, and jobs, I’ m learning to love and accept myself in a new way.   I’ve spent much of my life as a very insecure female.  I think for many women, it doesn’t matter what shape, size,  or color we are or whether our hair is curly or straight, or how tall or small we are, the constant scrutiny by self and others, awareness of physical expectation, male attention and cultural pressure creates a lot of room for self criticism and fear.  While I’ve been very confident and successful in many ways, I’ve struggled with this internal sense of myself as a woman and how my external packaging allows or prevents me from being able to embrace my full identity.   I love nature. I love running wild in fields. I like getting dirty and playing in mud. I’d like to learn to hunt. I love dressing up and wearing smouldering eye shadow.  I like to look and feel my best.  I don’t wear make up daily, but I like to feel my face is reflecting the joy in my heart, even when my heart’s joy is clouded by the daily fears, sadness, and pain we all feel.   I want to be tall and confident and speak my truths clearly and confidently.  I want to feel safe to kneel and pray, humbly thanking God for all that I have and crying for what I’ve lost. 

What I am discovering for myself is that being a consultant for Beautycounter fits me now. It is helping me to take care of my family and myself and to feel that my best self is visible.  I love sharing the knowledge of health with others and spreading our mission of getting safe products into the hands of everyone.  I want to help other women who don’t feel confident in themselves to find their beautiful, to heal and to grow.  I see this as my lifelong journey. In the future it might be sitting or moving together and working though her heart’s pain. Right now, it looks like sitting together and laughing while finding the perfect shade of lip sheer. 

Recipe Roundup

I am posting a bunch of favorite recipes. They are all vegan but some have suggestions for adding in meat and dairy.  Enjoy!

Lentils and Rice with Ginger Bok Choi

Lentils and Rice

.5 cup Lentils

.5 cup brown (i've been enjoying brown basmati rice)

2 cups water or vegetable broth

1 cube veggie bouillon (optional)

salt (I like salt and  use celtic sea salt or himalayan rock salt bought in bulk as both have a higher mineral content )

Bring 2 cups water to a boil and add bouillon. After rinsing (or if you choose soaking lentils and rice overnight/ 8 hours with a splash of apple cider vinegar to help in digestion) lentils and rice add to water, bring to boil and reduce heat.  Cook on low for 40 mins or according to rice cooking instructions.

Bok Choi

1 bunch bok choi chopped in 1 inch pieces

1 garlic clove

1 tsp (or to taste) fresh grated ginger (I buy a couple pounds of fresh ginger from local farms in the summer and freeze in pieces to use through the year)

coconut oil  (love coconut oil and buy it in bulk once a year)

While rice is cooking heat oil over medium heat, saute minced garlic for 3-5 minutes but do not let it turn brown.  Grate ginger and add ginger. Toss in chopped and washed bok choi and sautee for 5-10 minutes depending on how crisp you like it.

Favorite Dressing

olive oil

apple cider vinegar

2 tbsp nutritional yeast

1 clove garlic (optional)

Mix all dressing ingredients in a jar and shake. The dressing can be used on rice, salads, meat, fresh veg--anything.

Top rice with dressing and serve with bok choi.  On non-fasting days we enjoy eating this topped with feta cheese and ground lamb frikadelle (burger patties)

Curried Zucchini Soup  with Quinoa

1 tbsp coconut oil

1 onion chopped

1 clove garlic minced

2 white potatoes cut in 1 inch chunks

2 zucchini cut in small chunks

2-3 cups water

2 cups or 1 can coconut milk ( I make my coconut milk by buying dried unsweetened shredded coconut in bulk on amazon adding 1 cup water to 1 cup dried coconut (about 5 cups of water per bag) heating it briefly on the stove, letting it sit for 1 hour, blending it and straining it. I dry the left over coconut pulp in the oven to add to granola, cakes or soups and freeze in jars or ice cube strays the liquid milk) another non-strain recipe found here: http://wholenewmom.com/whole-new-budget/easiest-coconut-milk-recipe-improved/

curry powder

tumeric

1 tsp grated ginger (optional)

garam masala (optional)

fresh lemongrass (optional)

fresh lime or lemon leaves (optional)

salt and pepper

Immersion blender or blender

Heat oil in a large soup pan or dutch oven.  Add chopped onion and cook for 5-7 minutes or until translucent.  Add garlic and cook for 3-5 mins.  Add spices and ginger. I add my lemongrass in a little tea strainer so that I don't have to pick it out later as I don't spend much time mincing it into small pieces.  Stir and let spices release their fragrance. Add vegetables and coat with spices. Add water and simmer until potatoes are soft.  Add coconut milk and simmer.  Take immersion blender and blend up the soup til your desired consistency. I prefer mostly pureed with a few little chunks.  you can also transfer cups into  regular blender, but be careful of being splashed by hot soup.

1 cup quinoa (i've been enjoying red quiona)

2 cups water (or veg broth or bone broth when not fasting)Right after you add water to the soup to cook vegetables bring water or broth to a boil, add rinsed/and or soaked quinoa bring to a boil and reduce heat to low. Cook 20 mins.


Put hot quinoa in bowls and top with soup.  Serve with Fresh bread and/or green salad

Cauliflower and Red Lentil Soup

1 tbsp coconut oil

1/2 to 1 leek sliced in thin rounds

2-3 carrots chopped

2-3 sticks celery chopped

1 head cauliflower

1 cup split red lentils

2-3 cups coconut milk (1-2 cans) whole fat

2-3 cups water

1-3 tbsp curry powder

grated ginger to taste (optional)

dash cumin

dash tumeric

salt and pepper to taste

Heat oil in a large soup pan or dutch oven on medium/high heat.  Add sliced leeks to hot oil. Cook for 5-7 minutes until leeks begin to wilt. Add carrots and celery and cook for 5-7 minutes.  Add spices and then after fragrant add 1 cup washed red lentils. Stir and add 2-3 cups water so that the lentils are fully covered. Cook lentils for 10-20 minutes and add cauliflower.  you may need to add a little more water. Simmer cauliflower til almost tender. Add coconut milk, simmer and blend with immersion blender.

Serve with fresh bread and left over lentil/rice/bok choi with Favorite dressing

Sweet Potato and Black Bean Quesadillas

2-3 baked sweet potatoes (often cooked the night before)

2 cups/1 can black beans

Tortillas (my favorite are sprouted grain tortillas from food for life)

hot sauce

greens (arugula or favorite salad mix) dressed with lemon juice and olive oil if using

sliced avocado

Place tortilla on a cast iron or grill pan with oil or dry. Top half the tortilla with sweet potato and black beans. Fold tortilla in half and warm throughout.  Serve topped with avocado, greens and a dash of hot sauce.

These are delicious with cheddar cheese and topped with sour cream.

Curried Cauliflower and Red Lentil Rice

2 cups white basmati rice

3-4 cups (or enough to coat cooked rice) left over curried cauliflower and red lentil soup

Cook rice according to instructions (generally bring 8 cups water to boil and add rice. Stir as rice cooks, about 12 minutes).  Add cold soup to hot rice and stir til well mixed and warm.  Sprinkle with curry powder and shredded coconut.



Pureed Greens

 
The amount of greens can vary, just adjust other ingredients to match. I just used up what was left in my refrigerator.

3 cups Arugula
2 cups Kale (washed and chopped)
1 tbs olive oil
1 tbs apple cider vinegar
juice of half a lime
1 tbs nutritional yeast
half a garlic clove


Lightly steam kale and arugula, just until they turn even brighter green.  Place steamed greens in a food processor or blender, add the rest of the ingredients and puree. 

I served them mixed with rice and sauteed shrimp.  They would be great spread on toast, alone, or even as a pasta sauce. 

Best Bok Choi

Bok Choi is a versatile vegetable and I've loved it for years. The best I've ever tasted was in a small garage restaurant in Hong Kong. Perfectly crunchy, sauteed and sauced.  This recipe has 4 ingredients and is quick and easy. I prefer mine to still have some crunch, so cook yours a few minutes longer if you like it softer.

1 head Bok Choi chopped to your liking
1 TBS coconut oil
Fresh grated ginger to taste
a splash of Amino Acids or soy sauce

Heat the coconut oil over medium heat in a large dutch oven or skillet.  Once hot add the freshly chopped and washed Bok Choi. Grate fresh ginger over the Bok Choi and stir. Let it saute for 3-5 minutes, stirring occasionally. At the end add a splash of soy sauce and serve immediately.

My Dream

Cleaning up the dishes tonight, this phrase starting going through my head...She taught us. I was pleased with how my thrown together dinner had turned out.  Rich, nutritious, and quite good.  I started imagining what my daughter would say in the future about what she learned from her mother about cooking and food.   I started to imagine what else I hope my daughters learn from me, directly and indirectly.  What follows is not an exhaustive list, but what  I hope most for them, what I hold most dear. In writing it, it also helped me to clarify where I need to spend more time. It is a nice exercise, I recommend writing one of your own.


 What I hope my children will say about me when reflecting on my life:

She taught us to cook and eat nourishing and delicious food.
She taught us to eat when we were hungry, to respect our body and feed ourselves what we needed to carry us through our days.
She taught us that we are spiritual beings and to listen to our inside voice.
She taught us to love God, and that we are unconditionally loved.
She taught us to see our wrong, and to repent, and to move past our wrongdoing with an open heart.
She taught us we were beautiful, from our hearts.
She taught us to be outside, and to notice the natural world, to love and respect it.
She taught us to dance, and feel the joy of running, moving, feeling our bodies.
She taught us to share what we have, even when we don't want to, even when we'd rather have it all for ourselves.
She taught us love one another, that we are each others greatest gifts.
She taught us not to be afraid to try, and to fail, and to try again, this is how we learn.
She taught us to pray, with our lips and our hearts, in church, in the home, on the tops of mountains. To let prayer be love within our hearts, unceasing.
She taught us to ask questions and to seek the answer when none was given.
And above all, she taught us to be Kind, and to care for those who are not yet able to care for themselves.

A new dressing

Olive and Anchovy Salad Dressing



I recently developed some love for Anchovies and I bought a case of them on Amazon, and now I need to eat them.  So, I decided to whip up a new dressing as I've been overdoing it on my favorite dressing.  What you'll need:

1 small jar of Anchovies
a handful of Calamata olives
1 clove garlic
3 TBS of olive oil

Put it all together and blend. Vitamix makes it really smooth, but a  little texture would be nice too.

Easy, and ready to pour over your favorite salad. Our salad was just lettuce and it was great.  The baby loved sucking it off the lettuce.  Salty, deep and delicious.