Transfiguration

In church wondering why I am here. Wishing I'd listen to the voice saying, your kids are a mess, they are tired, let them sleep. stay home.  Walking around wondering, "What I am I doing? Am I doing the right thing? Can she walk all around? Should I bring her outside. Are people ok if she cries?"

As I was walking out a fellow parishioner stopped me and said, "Do you want help? Normally, I would say, "No, I am fine."  I am supposed to be able to take care of my kids right?  But instead i said, "Yes."  Yes. A simple word. "Ask for help." "Accept help!" Isn't that what everyone says to new mothers?  

Accepting help offered relief.

I had a few moments to connect with my older daughter, to calm her down and smooth the sourpuss off her face.  A moment to prepare myself for communion after being flustered most of the service.



I wrote the above paragraphs four years ago, and true to where I was four years ago, never got back to finishing it.   I remember exactly how it felt, and although I still have many struggles with my children in services, I am so happy to see that my internal dialogue has grown a bit.  Just a bit, but I am glad I didn't listen to that voice that wanted to keep my from services. 

DIY Screen Repair

(I wrote this post in 2015 and recently found it in unpublished drafts.  It is well timed as I have two screens I need to fix, and happy to have the reminder!)


I've been a fix-it girl since childhood.  I lived with my single mother and younger brother and I was the one who hooked up the VCR and video games.  As a teenager, my track coach took me under her wing and employed me, giving me odd jobs around her home.  Patching and painting the bathroom ceiling, replacing and painting shingles and raking and yard maintenance. I learned all sorts of things and all about materials;  kilz, spackle, patch repair tape and paint.   She told me that a woman needed to know how to take her of herself and her home.  It didn't hurt that my favorite TV show was MacGyver.  He was amazing and I wanted to be just like him, fixing everything with anything.

Fast forward to today and I've taken on my fair share of projects. I started with basic furniture painting, then stripping, refinishing, light tool use. I've moved into power tools now and owning a home means the options are really limitless.  I've painted shutters, doors, refinished cabinets, and built headboards, just to name a few.

Today, I finally became fed up with a screen in our front window that had holes and was a different color than the rest. I've never worked with screens before and had no idea how easy it was to fix.  I would have done it two years ago. 

A quick search revealed I needed 3 things since I already had an intact frame.

1. spline
2. spline tool (for $3.50 it is so worth it. a pizza cutter might work, but you're more likely to cut the screening and you'd have to start over)
3. screening

All of the materials (which could replace at least 4 windows) are less than $20 and the work took no more than 20 minutes. Other tools you will need:

1. scissors
2. sharp knife
3. Measuring tape

Steps:

Take the screen off the window. Rip out the old spline (the rubber tubing fits into a groove on the screen frame and holds the screening taut). Remove the old screening.  Take the new screening, measure the screen width and length and add a extra 1.5 inches on all 4 sides.  Cut screening.

Lay your new screen over the screen frame with extra screening hanging evenly over all sides. 

Take the spline and lay it over the screening above the grove in the frame.
Use the spline tool to push the spline into the groove.
Trim any unsightly overhanging screen.

Viola!

My Why

As I’ve shared, I’ve been really concerned about unknown toxins in our food and cosmetics for the last 9 or so years.  It has definitely been a journey for me, learning all the while and trying to make the best and safest choices that I can with my resources, time and energy.  We do our best with what we have. 

I’ve learned this personally and also in my professional work as a therapist.  Most people are doing the best they can with their skills and circumstances.    I see my role as a therapist to help people whose ways of coping and living aren’t allowing them to be their best or live a full and healthy life.  As I’ve spent the last 6 years of my life focused on my family and keeping my head above water in the roles, transitions and changes life has brought my way, I haven’t felt in a position to be responsible in a professional way for anyone except my family.    I have the desire inside to be present with clients in this way again, and I know that when I am ready, I will be very happy to do it. 

Beautycounter came to me in an unexpected and organic way, and I am so glad that it did. I admire the company and it’s mission. I love the transparency and what I see behind the scenes. I love the products—how they feel, how they smell, how they work and what is in them.   I’ve shared my thoughts on health and food with friend and family for years, but never in an “official” capacity. I love having access to Beautycounter’s knowledge and understanding of the cosmetic industry. I love that the company is committed to and leading change in our country to protect everyone—whether they are using Beautycounter products or not. 

As I’ve gotten older and lived through a fair amount of change, hard experiences, responsibilities, and jobs, I’ m learning to love and accept myself in a new way.   I’ve spent much of my life as a very insecure female.  I think for many women, it doesn’t matter what shape, size,  or color we are or whether our hair is curly or straight, or how tall or small we are, the constant scrutiny by self and others, awareness of physical expectation, male attention and cultural pressure creates a lot of room for self criticism and fear.  While I’ve been very confident and successful in many ways, I’ve struggled with this internal sense of myself as a woman and how my external packaging allows or prevents me from being able to embrace my full identity.   I love nature. I love running wild in fields. I like getting dirty and playing in mud. I’d like to learn to hunt. I love dressing up and wearing smouldering eye shadow.  I like to look and feel my best.  I don’t wear make up daily, but I like to feel my face is reflecting the joy in my heart, even when my heart’s joy is clouded by the daily fears, sadness, and pain we all feel.   I want to be tall and confident and speak my truths clearly and confidently.  I want to feel safe to kneel and pray, humbly thanking God for all that I have and crying for what I’ve lost. 

What I am discovering for myself is that being a consultant for Beautycounter fits me now. It is helping me to take care of my family and myself and to feel that my best self is visible.  I love sharing the knowledge of health with others and spreading our mission of getting safe products into the hands of everyone.  I want to help other women who don’t feel confident in themselves to find their beautiful, to heal and to grow.  I see this as my lifelong journey. In the future it might be sitting or moving together and working though her heart’s pain. Right now, it looks like sitting together and laughing while finding the perfect shade of lip sheer. 

Recipe Roundup

I am posting a bunch of favorite recipes. They are all vegan but some have suggestions for adding in meat and dairy.  Enjoy!

Lentils and Rice with Ginger Bok Choi

Lentils and Rice

.5 cup Lentils

.5 cup brown (i've been enjoying brown basmati rice)

2 cups water or vegetable broth

1 cube veggie bouillon (optional)

salt (I like salt and  use celtic sea salt or himalayan rock salt bought in bulk as both have a higher mineral content )

Bring 2 cups water to a boil and add bouillon. After rinsing (or if you choose soaking lentils and rice overnight/ 8 hours with a splash of apple cider vinegar to help in digestion) lentils and rice add to water, bring to boil and reduce heat.  Cook on low for 40 mins or according to rice cooking instructions.

Bok Choi

1 bunch bok choi chopped in 1 inch pieces

1 garlic clove

1 tsp (or to taste) fresh grated ginger (I buy a couple pounds of fresh ginger from local farms in the summer and freeze in pieces to use through the year)

coconut oil  (love coconut oil and buy it in bulk once a year)

While rice is cooking heat oil over medium heat, saute minced garlic for 3-5 minutes but do not let it turn brown.  Grate ginger and add ginger. Toss in chopped and washed bok choi and sautee for 5-10 minutes depending on how crisp you like it.

Favorite Dressing

olive oil

apple cider vinegar

2 tbsp nutritional yeast

1 clove garlic (optional)

Mix all dressing ingredients in a jar and shake. The dressing can be used on rice, salads, meat, fresh veg--anything.

Top rice with dressing and serve with bok choi.  On non-fasting days we enjoy eating this topped with feta cheese and ground lamb frikadelle (burger patties)

Curried Zucchini Soup  with Quinoa

1 tbsp coconut oil

1 onion chopped

1 clove garlic minced

2 white potatoes cut in 1 inch chunks

2 zucchini cut in small chunks

2-3 cups water

2 cups or 1 can coconut milk ( I make my coconut milk by buying dried unsweetened shredded coconut in bulk on amazon adding 1 cup water to 1 cup dried coconut (about 5 cups of water per bag) heating it briefly on the stove, letting it sit for 1 hour, blending it and straining it. I dry the left over coconut pulp in the oven to add to granola, cakes or soups and freeze in jars or ice cube strays the liquid milk) another non-strain recipe found here: http://wholenewmom.com/whole-new-budget/easiest-coconut-milk-recipe-improved/

curry powder

tumeric

1 tsp grated ginger (optional)

garam masala (optional)

fresh lemongrass (optional)

fresh lime or lemon leaves (optional)

salt and pepper

Immersion blender or blender

Heat oil in a large soup pan or dutch oven.  Add chopped onion and cook for 5-7 minutes or until translucent.  Add garlic and cook for 3-5 mins.  Add spices and ginger. I add my lemongrass in a little tea strainer so that I don't have to pick it out later as I don't spend much time mincing it into small pieces.  Stir and let spices release their fragrance. Add vegetables and coat with spices. Add water and simmer until potatoes are soft.  Add coconut milk and simmer.  Take immersion blender and blend up the soup til your desired consistency. I prefer mostly pureed with a few little chunks.  you can also transfer cups into  regular blender, but be careful of being splashed by hot soup.

1 cup quinoa (i've been enjoying red quiona)

2 cups water (or veg broth or bone broth when not fasting)Right after you add water to the soup to cook vegetables bring water or broth to a boil, add rinsed/and or soaked quinoa bring to a boil and reduce heat to low. Cook 20 mins.


Put hot quinoa in bowls and top with soup.  Serve with Fresh bread and/or green salad

Cauliflower and Red Lentil Soup

1 tbsp coconut oil

1/2 to 1 leek sliced in thin rounds

2-3 carrots chopped

2-3 sticks celery chopped

1 head cauliflower

1 cup split red lentils

2-3 cups coconut milk (1-2 cans) whole fat

2-3 cups water

1-3 tbsp curry powder

grated ginger to taste (optional)

dash cumin

dash tumeric

salt and pepper to taste

Heat oil in a large soup pan or dutch oven on medium/high heat.  Add sliced leeks to hot oil. Cook for 5-7 minutes until leeks begin to wilt. Add carrots and celery and cook for 5-7 minutes.  Add spices and then after fragrant add 1 cup washed red lentils. Stir and add 2-3 cups water so that the lentils are fully covered. Cook lentils for 10-20 minutes and add cauliflower.  you may need to add a little more water. Simmer cauliflower til almost tender. Add coconut milk, simmer and blend with immersion blender.

Serve with fresh bread and left over lentil/rice/bok choi with Favorite dressing

Sweet Potato and Black Bean Quesadillas

2-3 baked sweet potatoes (often cooked the night before)

2 cups/1 can black beans

Tortillas (my favorite are sprouted grain tortillas from food for life)

hot sauce

greens (arugula or favorite salad mix) dressed with lemon juice and olive oil if using

sliced avocado

Place tortilla on a cast iron or grill pan with oil or dry. Top half the tortilla with sweet potato and black beans. Fold tortilla in half and warm throughout.  Serve topped with avocado, greens and a dash of hot sauce.

These are delicious with cheddar cheese and topped with sour cream.

Curried Cauliflower and Red Lentil Rice

2 cups white basmati rice

3-4 cups (or enough to coat cooked rice) left over curried cauliflower and red lentil soup

Cook rice according to instructions (generally bring 8 cups water to boil and add rice. Stir as rice cooks, about 12 minutes).  Add cold soup to hot rice and stir til well mixed and warm.  Sprinkle with curry powder and shredded coconut.



Pureed Greens

 
The amount of greens can vary, just adjust other ingredients to match. I just used up what was left in my refrigerator.

3 cups Arugula
2 cups Kale (washed and chopped)
1 tbs olive oil
1 tbs apple cider vinegar
juice of half a lime
1 tbs nutritional yeast
half a garlic clove


Lightly steam kale and arugula, just until they turn even brighter green.  Place steamed greens in a food processor or blender, add the rest of the ingredients and puree. 

I served them mixed with rice and sauteed shrimp.  They would be great spread on toast, alone, or even as a pasta sauce. 

Best Bok Choi

Bok Choi is a versatile vegetable and I've loved it for years. The best I've ever tasted was in a small garage restaurant in Hong Kong. Perfectly crunchy, sauteed and sauced.  This recipe has 4 ingredients and is quick and easy. I prefer mine to still have some crunch, so cook yours a few minutes longer if you like it softer.

1 head Bok Choi chopped to your liking
1 TBS coconut oil
Fresh grated ginger to taste
a splash of Amino Acids or soy sauce

Heat the coconut oil over medium heat in a large dutch oven or skillet.  Once hot add the freshly chopped and washed Bok Choi. Grate fresh ginger over the Bok Choi and stir. Let it saute for 3-5 minutes, stirring occasionally. At the end add a splash of soy sauce and serve immediately.

My Dream

Cleaning up the dishes tonight, this phrase starting going through my head...She taught us. I was pleased with how my thrown together dinner had turned out.  Rich, nutritious, and quite good.  I started imagining what my daughter would say in the future about what she learned from her mother about cooking and food.   I started to imagine what else I hope my daughters learn from me, directly and indirectly.  What follows is not an exhaustive list, but what  I hope most for them, what I hold most dear. In writing it, it also helped me to clarify where I need to spend more time. It is a nice exercise, I recommend writing one of your own.


 What I hope my children will say about me when reflecting on my life:

She taught us to cook and eat nourishing and delicious food.
She taught us to eat when we were hungry, to respect our body and feed ourselves what we needed to carry us through our days.
She taught us that we are spiritual beings and to listen to our inside voice.
She taught us to love God, and that we are unconditionally loved.
She taught us to see our wrong, and to repent, and to move past our wrongdoing with an open heart.
She taught us we were beautiful, from our hearts.
She taught us to be outside, and to notice the natural world, to love and respect it.
She taught us to dance, and feel the joy of running, moving, feeling our bodies.
She taught us to share what we have, even when we don't want to, even when we'd rather have it all for ourselves.
She taught us love one another, that we are each others greatest gifts.
She taught us not to be afraid to try, and to fail, and to try again, this is how we learn.
She taught us to pray, with our lips and our hearts, in church, in the home, on the tops of mountains. To let prayer be love within our hearts, unceasing.
She taught us to ask questions and to seek the answer when none was given.
And above all, she taught us to be Kind, and to care for those who are not yet able to care for themselves.

A new dressing

Olive and Anchovy Salad Dressing



I recently developed some love for Anchovies and I bought a case of them on Amazon, and now I need to eat them.  So, I decided to whip up a new dressing as I've been overdoing it on my favorite dressing.  What you'll need:

1 small jar of Anchovies
a handful of Calamata olives
1 clove garlic
3 TBS of olive oil

Put it all together and blend. Vitamix makes it really smooth, but a  little texture would be nice too.

Easy, and ready to pour over your favorite salad. Our salad was just lettuce and it was great.  The baby loved sucking it off the lettuce.  Salty, deep and delicious.

Hot Chocolate (Vegan and Delicious)

I wanted to make a dairy free hot cocoa for my daughter and this is what I came up with:


2 cups Coconut milk
1/4 cup raw cacao powder
1 Tbs. honey
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract


The proportions are dependent on how much you want to make and what type of cocoa you are using, as well as how sweet you want it to be. I like to use raw cacao powder as it is high in magnesium, iron, zinc and fiber.   It is very strong so I normally only use half of what is recommended in recipes calling for unsweetened cocoa.  I make my own  coconut milk and prefer it to store bought as i haven't found a store bought version with a consistency I like or that doesn't have an after taste.    You can also easily make vanilla extract.

Heat the coconut milk over medium heat and add all ingredients stirring slowly.  Heat til hot but not boiling.  Serve warm. 

Sing to me

It is one of those mornings when I am trying to get out of the house and am running late and trying to remember everything. My youngest is finally contained in her carseat and crying, my oldest is bopping around doing everything except getting ready and what I ask of her.  I hear my voice get harsh, my throat get tight.  I try to remind myself in these moments that this is not a crisis. This is not what a crisis looks like at all and everything is ok.  I do not need to overreact and get upset. My oldest has started acting like this, like me, getting worked up about very small things and I actually do say to her, “this is ok, we are ok, I’ll help you, this is not a crisis.” And she replies, “Yes, it is a crisis!”

Oh boy.

Back to this morning.  Even though I’ve told myself, we are not in the middle of a crisis, I have yet to calm the panic I feel in needing to get out the door NOW.  As I’m moving around getting things together I ask my daughter one more time to come over to me so I can zip her jacket and I hear myself say, “Why is this so difficult? Why aren’t you listening to me. What can we do to make this work?"  She replies, “You need to sing to me”. 

Stillness. Everything stopped in that moment and I melted.  Of course, sing to her. That is how I envisioned my life as a mother pre-parenthood. I really wanted to have children and imagined our beautiful life together. Learning, cuddling, loving and yes, singing through our days.  That was the movie of motherhood I had in my mind.

I smiled and laughed, and hugged her and started singing about brushing her teeth (a hauntingly, beautiful tune actually) things flowed smoothly and we got out the door. A wise daughter.

I’d like to say I don’t end up in crisis mode over menial details or my voice doesn’t get harsh when I’d prefer to speak calmly and lovingly, because I am still working that out. However, this moment, was a big one for me and a big reminder that although reality is different than the movie versions I used to play in my mind of motherhood, I need to keep my visions alive. I need to remember that we are creating this life together, my children, husband and I.  In our daily adventure, I am the director, I set the stage and call the shots.  My direction gives the nuance and flow  to the action. My crisis, becomes their crisis.  One day at a time, one moment at a time, I am trying to calm down and enjoy.

Letter to a New Mom

Recently, I had the good fortune of spending an afternoon with a childhood friend. She and I had babies on the same day, a state apart. We were both over a week overdue and were induced within hours of each other, texting updates and sharing the joy of new motherhood.

She came to visit with her beautiful 4 month old baby and we got to catch up, swap stories and share a few hours together.  She is doing very well. She is a confident, loving, natural mother. She looks beautiful as always and seems genuinely happy in her new role.

Although we had babies on the same day, I was having my second child, and she was having her first.  Having a second child was completely different for me than being a new mother. The joy, amazement and love were the same, but I was different and so was my confidence as a mother.

I was planning on writing her an email after our visit. I wanted to tell her how great it was to connect and how much joy it brought me to see her so in love with her baby.  I also wanted to share a few thoughts with her regarding our discussion around being new mothers.

What struck me as well, was my feelings about seeing a friend I'd known since third grade, as a mother, holding her own child. I felt a depth of love, admiration, and a new connection, acknowledging the mystery we now both shared, seeing her in a new way and sharing a part of myself that had grown as well.  In my daily life, everyone I know has only known me as an adult, already a wife and mother. It is different spending time with a friend who knew me as a girl, who knew me as an athlete and a fumbling teenager and who saw my many heartaches through the years.  I felt a great love for her,  comfort in our shared memories, and a joy that we have been friends and although not in each others daily lives, that she has and continues to mean a great deal to me.

Dear K:

Thank you so much for making the trip down to see us. I know it was out of your way, and I was so happy to get to meet A and be giddy together about our birthday twin babies.  Your manner with him is so familiar and loving, I loved seeing you in this new way.

I wanted to say that I am so proud of you and that I know this new adventure can be hard; very hard, at times.  There are a few major adjustments that are taking place in your life and daily routine, marriage, relationship to yourself and relationship to your child. Not sleeping is a huge burden and sacrifice and at times it has often made me feel panicky.  It can cause resentment towards the baby, your husband and the non-child rearing world in general.

I wanted to say that children can be a great strain on marriage, and many will write about this burden and cite statistics that show the period of rearing young children can be the least satisfying season of marriage.  It certainly is harder than being a happily in love newly married couple.  Freedom to travel, go out, sleep in, be selfish, be romantic, and dote on each other is easily found pre-children.  The shift from being a childless fun couple to being new bleary eyed parents can be jarring. The roles are not equal.  The child rearing burden at this stage is much more on your shoulders, at least in a day to day, minute to minute way. I know your husband feels some of the larger and financial burden and over time as A gets older, you can share more of the day to day responsibilities as well.  What I've found is that although there can be resentments and frustrations towards one another, the growth that can occur in a marriage as you bond over parenthood is tremendous.  You get to know each other in a new way, you deepen your attachment and affection. Your fights can also get much bigger. If you do the work of communicating about these issues, if you focus on softening your heart and forgiving each other, if you take moments to hold hands and lock eyes after a difficult night, if you find humor in the tantrums, diapers and having to change the crib sheets three times in one night,  you will pull closer to one another and discover the silver lining of these years and the strength of what it means to be married. 

Being a stay at home mother, who has recently given up the work world, and who is adjusting to having a baby, no sleep and negotiating a new sense of self, and a new dynamic with friends and former co-workers also brings a whole new set of challenges and adjustments.  You've gone from being a fairly autonomous woman, to being a pregnant woman which is a special state in and of itself, to being completely relied upon to support a small life and feeling the responsibility it brings.  All of this is a little surreal and can bring up a lot of questions about who you are and what has happened in your life and you will find you don't really have time to think the answers through or your brain is too tired to sort any of the feelings out, at least this was my experience in the early days.  I always knew that I wanted to stay home with my children and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity.  Even so, I paused work and professional development that I loved and started developing another aspect of my identity and that has taken time to settle into and wrap my head around.  Give yourself time to find a rhythm and a balance. Carve out time to take care of yourself and you will find more energy to take care of your family.

The biggest and most wonderful change, is that you have a baby!  He is so precious and sweet, a great mix of the two of you. I know he will bring you so much joy, and heartache as well.  I still look at my girls and marvel that we made them, that they exist, that we've kept them safe and alive.  It is awe inspiring, wonderful and terrifying all at once. They are like little buddies that I spend my day with, that know me so intimately, and yet know so little about my life and my thoughts.  The relationship with your child will teach you so much about yourself and your heart and abilities will stretch as both of you grow and get older.  I initially thought that she was an extension of me, a special baby all my own. Yes, this was partially the case, but truly she is her own. Our children have  mind and spirits all their own.  He will amaze you as you get to learn more and more about the person inside his little body.

I am sharing all this with you, because I think we (as women and mothers) need to share and support one another in this transition.  It is wonderful, and it is very, very hard.  My sense is that the transition is different than in generations past.  We are part of a generation of women who were expected to grow up and be educated and have careers.  Our identities and paths have shifted from finishing basic education, becoming a wife and then a mother and homemaker to independent educated women with careers, who become wives, and mothers who are fortunate enough to choose to work or stay home.  We have much more freedom than our fore mothers and this is both wonderful and complicated as we navigate fulfilling traditional roles in a society that has drifted away from traditional ways.

All of this is to say, I know what you are going through, the wonderful and the difficult, and I am here to share and talk.  It also helps me to be able to write and clarify my own feelings and thoughts, as I have been on this journey for three years now and definitely feel much more settled and clear than I did in the beginning, but, I too, am still finding my way.  Thank you again for your visit, and friendship.

Love,

S

Lentil and Kale Soup (Vegan or with Sausage) and Forgiveness Cooking

I practice  forgiveness cooking. I don't know if this is what anyone else calls it, but it means I rarely follow recipes, don't measure and discover as I go along. I normally think about what ingredients I have and what I want to make and plan the steps while I am driving or nursing a baby to sleep and then try it when it's time to cook.  So, a lot of my recipes are recreated with amounts that I remember using and most things can be altered to the cook's taste and what is on hand.

Lentil and Kale Soup

I love this soup and find it especially delicious with sausage, but it can easily be made without. When I was planning the recipe I planned to make it on a Friday and then add sausage to the leftovers to eat on Sunday.


1 bunch kale (stems removed and chopped)
1 medium onion, chopped
1-2 clove garlic minced
1 tsp olive oil
4 cups water, veg. broth or chicken broth
2 cups dry (any kind you have-french/beluga/mixed lentils*)
4 potatoes cute in cubes-skin on if organic  (optional)
salt
pepper
fresh grated Parmesan cheese
1-2 lbs sausage skin removed (chicken, pork, spicy, garlic and herb---whatever your preference)


In a heavy skillet cook sausage meat until cooked through 15 or so minutes, set aside.  While sausage is cooking, saute onion in olive oil in a large dutch oven for 5-7 minutes until translucent, add garlic and saute for 3-5 minutes. Next add rinsed lentils and potatoes. Cook for 5-10 minutes before adding broth.  Bring to a boil. Once boiling, reduce heat and cover, allowing lentils to cook for 25-30 minutes. Next add the kale and sausage (if including).  Cover and allow to cook 15-20 more minutes until the kale is tender.  Feel free to add more water/broth if you prefer a more liquid soup.  season with salt and pepper.  Serve in bowls topped with a drizzle of olive oil or grated cheese and fresh bread with butter.


*ideally soaked overnight in water and a Tbs. cider vinegar, drained and rinsed

We paired it with Trader Joe's Zinfandel, a new wine we really enjoyed.

Lentil and Kale Soup, shown with sausage and potatoes. Yes, I know I need to remember to take more and better photos!

The Evolving Meal or Roast Chicken and Turnip Soup

One of my favorite and easiest meals is roast chicken*.  I put the chicken in with herbs and potatoes and let it cook to juicy goodness.  Sometimes I cook it all in the slow cooker if I have a busy evening or if I want very soft meat to use in quesadillas or chicken salad later in the week.  This week, my husband was coming down with a cold and I wanted to make a nourishing soup to keep us all healthy.  The soup could be adjusted to your own tastes and ingredients. I used what I had in the fridge and the result was excellent.

The recipes:

Roast Chicken with Potatoes and Onions

1 whole chicken
chicken giblets
3 or more whole  cloves of garlic to taste
1-3 sliced onions (varietal your choice)
4 or more diced potatoes (depending on size)
parmesean cheese
rosemary
pepper
thyme
lemon juice from one fresh lemon, zest as well if you like a lemony flavor

Preheat oven to 385 degrees. Place the chicken in a 9x12 pan, or dutch oven, or roaster...whatever you have. Sprinkle the chicken with pepper, lemon juice/zest, herbs and parmesean cheese.  Arrange the potatoes, giblets, onions and garlic around the chicken. I like to stuff some onions inside the chicken as well.  Place in heated over and cook uncovered for 2 hours or as appropriate for you size bird.  Meat thermometer should read 180 when done or the legs should pull off with ease.  1-2 time during cooking stir the potatoes and baste everything with the drippings from the chicken.  Serve with salad and bread. We've been on a big sour cream kick and add a dollop to the potatoes.  The garlic will be tender and sweet and perfect for spreading on bread.

Step 2:

Once the chicken has cooled remove all the meat and place aside for storage with all remaining vegetables.  You can choose to add drippings to this or just add to broth.  The chicken carcass, skin and any uneaten giblets can be placed in a slow cooker and covered with water. Depending on the size of you slow cooker start with 5 cups.  Cook for 15-35 hours on low.  Feel free to add any vegetable scraps, carrot tops, onion skins, bay leaves or peppercorns if you are so inclined.  Water may need to be added depending on how long you cook the broth.  

When the broth is finished (you can make perpetual broth  for a up to a week or you can choose to use it after a day) strain the solids and discard.  Set aside the remaining broth for your soup. 

Roast Chicken and Turnip Soup

1 sliced leek
2 minced garlic cloves
chicken meat
1 bunch kale
2 peeled and sliced kholrabi
3 peeled and sliced sweet turnips
1- 2 inch chunk of fresh ginger grated
3 cups chicken bone broth
2 tablespoons nutritional yeast
1 tablespoon kelp powder 
salt and pepper to taste
1 tbs olive oil

In a large dutch oven saute leeks in olive oil for 5-7 minutes over medium heat. Add the garlic and saute for 3-5 more minutes.  Add the ginger, turnips, kohlrabi and anything else you want to add such as carrots, celery or potatoes. Saute for 5-7 minutes.  Add the chicken meat and broth.Add nutritional yeast (flavor and B vitamins) and kelp powder (for iodine).  Simmer everything for 25-30 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste.  Serve warm.    







* As much as possible I use all organic ingredients and pastured meat, chicken, eggs and dairy products.

Smoked Ham Cabbage

I was thinking about this recipe for a week or two before I decided to try it. It was pretty simple and turned out delicious.

1 lb smoked Ham cubes
1 yellow onion chopped
1 head cabbage shredded
5 carrots diced
salt and pepper
1 tbs lard or other fat of choice

In a large heavy pot ( I used a 4 quart dutch oven) melt lard over medium heat. I use lard rendered from pastured bacon from Brick Farm Market in NJ that I freeze.  After the lard is melted add the onion and saute til translucent, about 5-7 minutes.  Next add the ham cubes.   I buy mine from Your Family Farmer in PA. Cook them through about 10 minutes depending on how large they are.  Next add the carrots and cook for 2 minutes. Finally add the shredded cabbage and cook covered on medium for about 30-45 minutes, until cabbage becomes translucent. Stir occasionally and season with salt and pepper to taste.  We ate this as a side for dinner, but it could be a good lunch meal or a dinner with salad and some hearty bread and butter. 

How is it with two?

I get this question a lot now that I’ve had my second child.  Most often from moms pregnant with their second, looking for some ray of hope that having a baby and a toddler could somehow be less difficult than being pregnant and having a toddler.  Fortunately, I can give them that, because for me, it is. 

I was a miserable pregnant woman.  My first pregnancy I was extremely morning sick with daily vomiting, food aversions, endless stomach issues, and general misery.  It got better as I was into my second trimester, but I never was a woman who loved being pregnant. I had SPD; body aches, and weight gain, all the normal things pushed to the limits. I was overjoyed to be growing a life, and in awe that my body knew how to do it, but I have always had body issues and struggled with my weight, so pregnancy was hard both physically and mentally. 

My second daughter’s birth was amazing and I felt greatly relieved to no longer be pregnant.  After a couple of months of healing and building back some basic strength, I was able to start exercising again and felt the high of being an individual with an autonomous body. (I say this loosely as I was still exclusively breastfeeding and had two children on me all day long, but when I can put them to bed and have just me, or I can go for a walk and feel the freedom and strength of my body again, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction.) 

While pregnant, I was gearing up for years of sleeplessness with a new baby. Our first didn’t sleep fully through the night (without waking to nurse) until she was about 18 months old.  With my first, I didn’t get more than a few hours at a time fro at least the first six months.  It was hard, really hard to be so sleep deprived.  She was a strong willed child. She amazed me with her will and the fever pitch of discomfort and anger she could reach when I tried all the suggestions from the endless sleep books I read to try and “train” her.  In the end, her hyperventilating tears and my poor heart couldn’t take it and we found our own rhythm and path.  Since 18 months she slept fully through the night without any problems, until my last trimester of pregnancy when she decided to aggressively self potty train, waking in the night so not to pee in her diaper as well as waking up afraid that there would be no place for her when the new baby arrived.

When the new baby arrived, she calmed down, and saw that we all still love her and her place in our family is secure.  She still wakes us more than the baby, as she has decided she needs to tell me when she wakes to use the bathroom, something she didn’t do for a year of independent bathroom trips in the night.  Or she needs her pj’s snapped at 3 in the morning, or lately, there are bears in her room.  I know all of this is her still adjusting to having a sibling. She is pretty good about telling me when she is jealous and that she needs “mommy time”.  “Mommy, put my sister to sleep, I need mommy time” is one of her common requests. 

Her sister is one of the babies I read about and didn’t believe existed.  A baby, who slept 4 and 5 hour stretches in the night at 4 weeks old, who routinely doesn’t wake at all now at 4 months, who falls asleep mostly on her own, and wakes up happy. She fusses minimally, smiles endlessly, goes a long for the ride, and is generally a fat and happy baby. 

If I’d had her first, I would probably not believe the parents who say their child doesn’t sleep or still HAS to nurse multiple times a night after 6 months. They must just not be doing something right.  I know there were parents who thought this about me when I said it just wasn’t working the first time around.  Having lived it, I know that isn’t the case.  

Having two daughters so different from one another makes it clear to me on a personal level that children are just different.  They need different things. 

I’ve wondered if because this is our second round, maybe we just know what to do and so she’s fallen in line much easier. Yes, in part this must be true, our family schedule was set for children and this influenced her schedule from the beginning. I was also more conscious of not rushing to her at every little noise the way I did with my first.  But, then again, my first’s noises were different and grew in intensity much quicker.  Her whole temperament was different.  She is an amazingly strong willed and intense little girl.  She was walking before her first birthday, speaking in paragraphs by her second, self potty trained shortly after, doesn’t let me forget a thing, and loves to run, jump, play, climb and be fully in everything.  When she was an infant she used to ball her hands up and shake her head and turn red when she was frustrated. She didn’t cry, she just wanted something so intensely and that was how she expressed it. My husband and I would stare in amazement and say, “is this normal? Do babies do this?” Well, yes. Ours did. 

Her sister hasn’t even a whisper of this behavior.  She fusses for very specific reasons: she’s hungry, she’s hurt, she wants attention or she’s tired.  Other than that she is happy. She loves to coo and talk and observe.  She loves to give big open baby kisses and try to eat any of our body parts she happens to grab.  I am so curious how she’ll be as a toddler and what kind of stories she’ll tell us.

So, for me, having two is going very well.  Having a baby is a lot of work, no matter how “easy” the baby is, but I’ve discovered there are definitely easier baby temperaments and babies that require more patience and sacrifice from their parents. 

For all parents out there struggling with children that aren’t sleeping or are high needs, do all that you can to create consistency, boundaries, routines, give them endless love and then know that your doing the best you can and your child is just being who they need to be.  I can’t say one is better than the other.  Each child comes with her own gifts and challenges. Of course, it is easier now to have a baby who sleeps. If I was as sleep derived as before and trying to manage two high intensity children right now, this post might be very different, but I learned a lot from my first daughter and we shared many special, albeit sometimes delirious quiet moments in the dead of the night.  I might even miss some of that with my second, now that it is a distant memory. 

Natural Body Care

I've made a few product switches over the past few years I wanted to share.


Moisturizer:  I've used organic sunflower oil for to moisturize my skin the last few years and a few months ago I started to use if for my face as well.  It leaves my skin very soft. I have had problems with break-outs and contact dermatitis on my face in the past and have experienced no problems using this. I was a little worried about using oil, but it has been great.  For the body I sometimes scent the oil with orange or lavender.  I've used unscented sunflower oil on my daughter since birth. It helped with cradle cap and when she gets diaper rash during teething.

Baking Soda:  I haven't bought exfoliator in years. I use baking soda on my face and body as well as my teeth.

Salt or Sugar scrub: For a luxurious body exfoliator I make a salt or sugar scrub with sunflower oil and essential.

I am working towards making my own deodorant and laundry detergent. I haven't gotten there yet but I've found some good recipes you can find on my Pinterest site.

Valentine's Day Treat- Nourished Kitchen's Coconut Cake

I've been wanting to make this cake for a long time and Valentine's Day was the perfect opportunity. I found the recipe very easy to follow with minimal steps and nothing complicated.  It was my first time baking with coconut flour and I wasn't sure what to expect.  The flavor was definitely different than previous coconut desserts that I had, more subtle.  The cake is very dense and filling, owing a bit to the rich and fibrous quality of the coconut flour.  I did add unsweetened raw shredded coconut to the frosting for texture.  I am a bit of a sweet tooth, so in the future I think I will sweeten the frosting with a bit more honey or a dash of maple syrup. Overall, the cake is delicious and very pretty.


View the recipe and further information here:

http://nourishedkitchen.com/coconut-flour-cake/

The Dirty Life

A Memoir of farming, food and love by Kristin Kimball.

I loved this book.  I have a crush on Essex Farm and the food they are raising.  The memoir entered in and woke up a part of me that fell asleep years ago. The part of me that used to pick beans in the garden, mow acres of our Georgian pasture, race our horses Smoke and Nugget through the pasture and along the trails of Hard Labor Creek State Park.  I feel most alive and invigorated striding up a mountain path, swimming in the ocean or using my body to work on the land, lifting, digging, pulling, running, cultivating. As a dance/movement therapist I am aware of the importance of our connection to nature and the devastating impact it has on us as human beings to be separate from the natural rhythm of life.  In my own life it is an awareness that ebbs and flows as the demands of daily life build. 

Kimball brought all that back with life, vigor, and love.  Her own journey, from a NYC writer to a sustainable farmer and wife, was well written and inspiring.  She portrays the stark contrast between cerebral city life and the hardships and fulfillment of life lived in close contact with nature very astutely. Her description of farm life was at once idyllic and harsh, bringing in the reality of grueling work, death. loss, and a tether to the farm that cannot be escaped.  One of the best aspects of the book was her descriptions of the undeniable superiority of organic, unprocessed, fresh food.  My mouth watered throughout the book for the food she described. My only complaint was that it ended too quickly.  It felt like a race at the end and I wanted to know more.  I was very happy to find an NPR segment about the farm and her book, as well as a blog (http://www.kristinkimball.com/blog/) that reads much like the book.  Farm tour dates are also listed... I see a trip in my future.

There were so many ideas in her book that I am inspired to adopt and incorporate into my own life.  The most pertinent that I am starting with included:  sourcing local grass-fed milk and butter from jersey cows,  trying farm fresh scrapple, growing beans and herbs and creating my own sourdough starter for bread.

For now I will start with my own little patch of earth. The first ever garden to call our very own will be planted this Spring.  Eventually I want to find a farm where I can go and work/volunteer to be closer to the miracle of growing food, where my body can be taxed in the process of sustaining life, and where I can be in a community of farmers. With a small one at home and minimal childcare, I don't see that happening just yet, but I have it on the list.

The Beginning

A cold February evening, baby asleep, husband working for a deadline leaving me to the rare luxury of my own time. Yes, there are dishes in the sink, and yes, laundry that needs be folded, books to be read and research to be completed, but tonight, I want to write.  

I've been toying with this idea for a while...the blog.   I created my site months ago and it has sat empty...waiting for words, inspiration, life.  My big hurdle is how to begin, what of the myriad of voices, thoughts, excitement do I want to share?  It changes daily, the to do list grows and I collapse exhausted at night realizing I have yet to start.

So here goes....